For a few seconds after I opened my eyes this morning, I felt light and free. Everything felt…okay. There was nothing inherently wrong.

Then my mind kicked in. I remembered that I had felt depressed yesterday. The memory crushed me like a truck. My body became heavy, sick, geared up for insurmountable challenges.

I realised the difference very quickly, but I could not – and still can’t – ‘undo’ the impact of that thought this morning. It had set the wheels in motion and I am trapped beneath them, letting them run me over repeatedly.

All I can do is watch and know this state of mind is not reality. It is not me. My mind and body are having a tough time just now. Adding pressure to feel better isn’t really going to work. It is how it is at the moment.

I am visiting my son later which is better for me than sitting at home at my laptop. Maybe that will help, maybe it won’t, but I will keep moving through the day and remembering that this too will pass.

And that moment upon waking is a gift to hold (not cling) onto.