I’ve realised that I’m never more at peace than when I’m not trying to fit into any one way of being or belief system.
The path is me: there is no other and there never has been.
As a young child I knew this; I talked to God, journaled, prayed, but walked my own unique path, always aligned with my heart.
There are tools, teachings, guides, but ultimately everything leads back to where I started from: myself.
For a time I thought this egotistical, but then I realised this is the very point:
God/spirit has planted the seed within me and my journey is about connecting with it, trusting it, and allowing it to flower and bloom.
Life circumstances, by pure chance or design, have meant that my inner journey has always been the most important one of my life. In fact, the ONLY one. People and situations have only sought to show me that.
There is no outer path beyond where experiences take me. When I try to find one, I suffer. When I try to fit in the world and crave things that weren’t meant to be, it causes me pain.
The Sun is shining through the fog once again. My soul has awakened. And yet the grief, the desperation, the search, it’s all part of the rich tapestry of what it means to be here.