I went to see my son today, braced for another absolutely terrible time as that is how it’s been for the last few visits, but by the Grace of God or sheer luck, he was in an excellent mood – calm, relaxed and happy. I was able to enjoy my time with him and vice versa. He watched videos on his tablet and ate the chocolate I bought for him. There were no behavioural issues or stress. It was all exactly how it could have been if these issues weren’t even in the equation. For a short time I breathed easy and thanked God/the Universe for this unexpected miracle.
This is even more poignant since yesterday was a dreadful day. I spent hours on the phone trying to sort my son’s finances out only to be told he wasn’t entitled to anything (which isn’t true) and desperately trying to make sure the paperwork was being completed so that my son’s carers would be insured to drive a car to take him out. It’s all been frustratingly slow and horrendously stressful but will hopefully be sorted soon. At one point yesterday I was shaking and crying and livid with my son’s dad for the mess he has left in his absence and felt it was all simply too much for me. The last thing I felt like doing this morning was visiting my son and being punched in the arm (or worse). So to arrive and be greeted with a smiley, happy adult child, was like the greatest gift I could have been given.
I am so grateful for this and also for the care everyone is showing him. Despite his upcoming eviction notice, the professionals involved in my son’s care are pulling out all the stops to tackle his behaviour on all levels. I do feel a lot of it is being abandoned by his father who no longer visits him, as well as not being taken out in a car to a range of activities which is needed to keep him entertained and healthy. Due to his autism, my son can’t express his feelings in the way most people can. He can’t say he’s confused or sad or missing his dad. It’s got to come out in other ways and for him that’s destructive and violent behaviour. Knowing that doesn’t make it easier for the carers to deal with when they’ve got other residents to consider, but it’s certainly understandable.
Today’s miracle has given me hope. My son can still have happy, calm days. He may settle down yet and find his place in the world. Maybe everything the carers are doing will make a difference. And once he has access to his car again, he’ll be doing a lot more things that he loves. Maybe he’ll be okay. I’ll keep hoping and praying so. It’s a long hard road but today shows we may be heading in the right direction.