Spiritual loneliness

I’ve realised that, for myself, spiritual loneliness is a thing. It feels almost taboo to say it, due to numerous teachings that suggest loneliness stems from a disconnect from one’s own soul and the answer is to go within. That is doubtless a very important and valuable truth, but it’s also true that it’s possible to be connected to oneself and the universe yet still feel lonely for likeminded company. It doesn’t have to be either/or. The key issue is balance.

I’ve started dating again after a break for a couple of years and many more years single. I decided that I’ve spent too much time alone. This is coming from an introvert with health issues who loves a dog for company! But alone time can be too much of a good thing. I’ve spent many years focusing on my spirituality through meditation, journaling, self-reflection, and I believe I have reached a good level of self-awareness, albeit I will never stop learning (who does?). I know I have not fully integrated all the wounded parts of my being, but I know they are there. I have compassion for them. And I just….feel lonely sometimes. The two meditation groups I was part of pre-pandemic have ended and there seems to be little around. Online isn’t the same by any means. I am fortunate to have friends, a couple who are also on a conscious path, but most are preoccupied with family and relationships and don’t have the time or inclination to sit and talk about the topics that matter to me.

As Carl Jung says in the above quote, loneliness stems from being unable to communicate about the issues that seem important to a person. Of course I can blog and that is great, but sometimes good quality in person human contact is what is needed. I wonder if this is a common feeling post-pandemic, a genuine spiritual loneliness and longing for a deeper connection with others? We can do all the inner work and re-connect with our own souls yet still hunger for community. Buddhists call it sangha; Christians go to church; for me it was meditation groups. Somewhere to go and share and grow through a shared understanding and mutual love and respect. Relationships are a mirror; we need them to keep ourselves honest.

I don’t know if dating is what I want/need or simply a spiritual tribe. But I will see. I’ve joined an online meditation group and I have someone coming to meditate with me tomorrow for the first time after I posted on a local group. I am hopeful that I will start to re-connect with people after this long season of retreat. I feel like my soul is in spring time, ready to burst forth and bloom. I know the garden will soon appear!

13 thoughts on “Spiritual loneliness

  1. For me, I only feel loneliness when out of connection and alignment with myself. It took me a long time to realise this and I would think it was because I was missing something or someone “out there” I find as long as I have a good honest relationship with myself, I am never lonely.

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  2. Humans are pack animals and cannot survive (at least not in a healthy way) without connections to other human beings. We also need alone time. We need a pack that accepts us for who we are and can fulfill our needs. Some traumas are not easy to heal, I think. We all have some wounds that appear now and then, no matter how much spiritual work we have done. But, I think that the more inner work you have done, the better you deal with so-called hard feelings.


  3. Hi there. I’m just randomly reading things, and ended up here. I don’t know why I stumbled on this, or why I suddenly wrote this comment – not something I do often. Maybe because I am in a similar, but totally different place. I don’t feel lonely – not one bit – happy to be on my own and connected to everything around me. There’s something else though. I feel this pressure – this inner urging to reach out to other people, not from a sense of lack or loneliness, but from something deeper. It’s like there’s something that wants to be shared, because it’s better shared. Doesn’t matter with whom. That feeling is so open and friendly. It wants to say: “hello – I see you. I read your words. I am smiling in recognition and solidarity. There’s nobody here, really, but there’s something here that wants to say hello. Take courage. Bloom and thrive exactly as you are, in your way – I would like to see it. The universe is richer for it. Well done, little flower. You are loved.” I know it’s better in person, and this is online. Jung is right, but there’s more to it. We are indeed looking for our own faces in the mirrors of each other, even during meditation. Ha ha ha ha! That’s all. Take care, dear one.

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    • Thank you so much for this, I do believe this is what’s going on for me – it’s not so much depending on another for my happiness as wanting to share my life and connect with others from a place of wholeness. I’ve met someone who feels similarly and we both need space but want to share our lives and yes, being mirrors for each other. Thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it x

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  4. I think I understand what you mean by ‘spiritual loneliness.’ The inability to really communicate what you want to/need to communicate. Everything else feels frivolous which is why one turns inward. It’s a lonely journey… I feel this way.

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