My dog had her cardiac ultrasound today. I already knew she was improving. Since Saturday her frailty has been less evident and she has shown more inclination to move around at home and more enthusiasm on her daily walk. Whilst she is still far from as energetic as she was before 4th December, more and more signs of the old Zoey are returning with each passing day.
Prior to this scan, two vets on two separate occasions picked up an arrhythmia. Today, the ultrasound detected no issues with the structure of the heart and an EKG found no evidence of an arrhythmia at all. This doesn’t mean there isn’t an arrhythmia because any scan is but a snapshot of course. Plus she had been exceptionally frail and had a very fast heartrate on moving in the mornings up until last weekend, which meant she had to lay in her dog bed and recover before starting her day. She had lost a lot of muscle power and was exhibiting rapid eye movements while wide awake. There was something going on, perhaps a stroke, but whatever that something was/is, she is now improving every day.
I don’t know if it would have happened anyway or it has to do with the amount of prayers and healing sent her way. It doesn’t matter which. My mind might never know or understand. The main thing is that she is recovering, and it FEELS like a miracle. Before she became ill I had started re-reading Marianne Williamson’s Return to Love, a beautiful interpretation of ‘A Course in Miracles,’ where it states that a miracle is “a shift in perception from fear to love.” I love that. It reminds me that love is the energy of life, and by letting go of fear, which is incredibly hard to do, we open the way for our highest good and the highest good of others to emerge, instead of being blocked against. We have faith in the cycle of life instead of clinging and resisting it. We learn to dance with life and feel the light of our souls rather than the heaviness of pain and fatigue. None of it is easy yet it’s the simplest and most natural experience there is – returning to the love that we are.
It now feels like a miracle that I have more time with my special dog, no matter how long that time ends up being. I have taken care of her in the best ways that I know how. It has not been easy; I have been in tears at the thought of not having her in my life. It would be like losing my right arm. The emptiness at home would be unbearable. Despite all this, I tried not to succumb to fear and to trust that if it was her time, it was her time, and with that understanding and faith I would be okay. Fortunately it was not her time. She is still living her life fully and her little body is regaining strength. Love was sent her way and for that I am grateful. A miracle, for sure.